One of the most common questions I receive is: “I’m on day 10 for the 10th time—will it always be this hard?” If you’re asking yourself the same thing, I really hear you.
The early stages of sobriety can feel exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes impossible. But the way you feel in the first few weeks of stopping drinking is not how it will always be. The short-term struggle brings long-term freedom, and I want to share why it gets easier and how to navigate the journey in a way that truly works.
The Power of the First 30 Days
When I first quit drinking for a year, I thought I had it all figured out—until I started again. It wasn’t until I stopped for two years that I fully experienced the power of getting through those first 30 days and beyond. This is why I always focus on the first month with my clients.
The key isn’t just about “not drinking”—it’s about developing daily practices that sustain you long-term. I don’t love the word habits because it can feel rigid, but practices? They nourish you. They support your nervous system. They become the foundation of an alcohol-free life.
If you can get to 30 days, you can get to 60. If you can get to 60, you can get to 90. Somewhere between 80 and 100 days, you start noticing real change. And it continues from there—the cravings, the constant thoughts about drinking, and the mental struggle begin to fade.
Why Triggers Feel So Powerful
One of the biggest obstacles to stopping drinking is learning how to manage triggers—both the tough ones and, surprisingly, the joyful ones.
We often assume that we drink because life is hard, stressful, or overwhelming. But what about when life is too good? Have you ever noticed how celebrations, holidays, or even feelings of excitement can bring up the urge to drink?
It comes down to our nervous system and deeply ingrained beliefs about worthiness. Many women feel uncomfortable experiencing unfiltered joy, so alcohol becomes a way to take the edge off—even when things are good.
An addiction specialist once said his biggest trigger was something positive happening. He would drink before the event even occurred, dulling the very experience he was looking forward to. I see this pattern in so many women I work with.
Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer
If you’re relying on willpower alone to quit drinking, it will always feel hard. This is where most people struggle.
You might hear advice like “just stop drinking, it’s not that complicated.” But that method—just gritting your teeth and pushing through—is a harsh and ineffective way to quit. It doesn’t address the underlying reasons you drank in the first place, nor does it teach you how to sustain sobriety in a way that feels good.
Alcohol isn’t the problem—it’s the symptom. The real issue lies in the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions driving the behaviour. Without addressing these, you stay stuck in a cycle of stopping and starting, wondering why it never sticks.
The Downward Escalator Effect
Many people believe they can “reset” their drinking and start fresh, but that’s an illusion. Every time you step back onto the escalator of drinking, you return to the same place—or worse.
I know because I did it over and over for years. It wasn’t until I faced the deep-seated belief that my life would be less than without alcohol that I finally broke free. It wasn’t about saying, “I’ll just stop.” It was about changing the entire way I saw myself, my worth, and my life.
The Path to Emotional Sobriety
True sobriety isn’t just about quitting drinking—it’s about emotional sobriety. This is what I help my clients achieve. It’s about personal leadership, learning how to navigate life’s highs and lows without needing a crutch, and feeling fully present in your life.
And this work is deeply connected to trauma, stored emotions, and the body. As Dr. Gabor Maté says, “Trauma is not what happened to you; it’s how it got trapped in your body.” Until you address those stored emotions, the patterns will continue to repeat.
This is why I’ve spent the last five years studying trauma-informed coaching, somatic practices, and root-cause therapy—because it’s not just about quitting. It’s about healing at the deepest level.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If you’re ready to stop the exhausting cycle of over-drinking and over-thinking about drinking, I’m here to help.
I offer one-on-one coaching to help women get to the root of their drinking patterns and step into an alcohol-free life that feels nourishing, not restrictive. If you’d like support, send me an email or reach out on Instagram @the_sarah_leather, or book a free call to see how I can help.
You deserve to feel free. You deserve to break the cycle. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Are you a coach looking to get coaching clients, attract more clients, and make money as a coach? The work I do in emotional sobriety has shown me just how powerful coaching can be. If you want to grow your coaching business while helping others, reach out—I’d love to support you on your journey, too.